Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day, one and all! I don't have anything really profound to say at the moment other than I have felt the prayers of many. As difficult as this weekend was, I made it through and had energy!

This might sound strange, but in a way, the business of Brandy's passing has been a gift to me. I haven't had time to think about myself and what is happening with my body and baby(ies). No worries, though--I haven't had any bleeding or anything like that, so I'm sure all is well in there. Thinking of Brandy, praying for her and her family, and participating in her services have helped me deal with the not-knowing in a different way, a healthier way.

She requested that portions of Psalm 118 be read at her funeral, and I was so blessed by that, particularly verse 24: "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." In spite of Brandy's illness and pain, she was able to say this. On the good days, the bad days, the not-knowing days, the days of grief, the days of joy, the days of blessing, the days of letting-go: THIS is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

I told you before I was struggling to feel joy in the midst of Brandy's death, and it was like she was releasing me to feel that joy in a way. My heart still hurts for her and the pain she experienced in her final hours, the pain her family is currently experiencing. But I am joyful for all the ways God has blessed us and will NOT take such blessing for granted.

Here is what was in our mailbox yesterday:

You probably can't read it very well, but it's basically a run-down of the embryo transfer. It says:

Number of embryos frozen: 6

Number of embryos thawed: 3

Number of embryo survived: 3

Number of embryos transferred: 3

Number of embryos remaining cryoperserved (frozen): 3



We are so, so blessed beyond measure. And I am so grateful that God reminded me of all the reasons I have to be joyful in the midst of grief . . .


(My sister took this picture in Brandy's memory . . . )