A Word from the Hubz

As we continue down the road to child number 2 (or 3 or 4), I continue to have several different thoughts and feelings. As we traveled to the clinic, I was very calm. I can’t really explain why. I guess it had to do with this being the second time and being a little less complicated than the first time. It wasn’t until after they told us that all 3 embryos survived the thaw that I got a little nervous. I want for all of them to survive, but I don’t have a clue how we will be able to provide what is necessary if we go from a family of 3 to a family of 6. I rest on the fact that God will allow us to have the number of children that he wants us to have, and that He will then allow for us to provide for them, however that may be.

Mary took a pregnancy test on Thursday, and it showed negative. Though she believes it was a faulty test (as the control line didn’t show up right away) I was pretty bothered by it. I know that it is possible for this procedure not to work, but I don’t think I have ever accepted that it REALLY might not work. That test brought to light the reality that we could do all of this and not have another child. That test also allowed me to come to grips with the fact that, pregnant or not, God is in control and I am OK with whatever happens in light of that. I processed the reality that even if this doesn’t work, we are blessed to have Noah.

When Mary did the test today, I didn’t get too excited because the line is very, very faint. That is why she "made" me do the other one, so that we could compare as there is NO WAY that there would be any line if I did it. The things you do for love . . . .

[Mary here: Since this is technically my blog, I have to correct something said by the hubz--I did not make him take the other test; he did so willingly and fully aware that such an event could absolutely not be left out of this blog. :)]

. . . I want to see a bright pink line. Then I will celebrate, and then I want to know numbers.

In all, I am excited, nervous, and yet calm. We are walking this road together, wherever it may take us. The journey has been great because I have such a great companion to share it with. We’ll see where it leads us . . .