The worst part of this whole process is the paranoia, analyzing, and anticipation.
Already, I'm so paranoid that I've done something to ruin this. I worry if the laptop on my lap is sending some radioactive signal to my uterus. I worry that my 1-mile walk (supposed to be run) somehow jostled them around too much. I worry that my emotional state is going to make things go awry.
Then, I analyze. Every time I feel something, I wonder what's going on in there. I'm having some cramping, but that is supposedly normal. Still, I can't help but wonder . . .
The anticipation is also a killer. I can't help but wonder when I'm injecting myself if it's all for naught. Ugh.
I've been so apprreciative to so many for great reminders--nothing is going to prevent a life that God wants, being fearless is a series of decisions to trust the truth, promises of prayer, etc.
So, please pray for me as I try to make the decision to believe what I know is true and not what I feel or speculate. It's tough.
TWO!
7 years ago
I wish I could take away all your feelings. My prayer for you is to have faith and trust God's plan is going to happen and it will be more perfect than you or I can imagine. Maybe making some note cards of your "Words of HOPE" and when a thought comes through your mind, go to your card. I read somewhere a long time ago you can stop unwanted thoughts, but you have to find what works. One example I read was "visualizing a stop sign". This is supposed to help not feed the thoughts. Hope this helps. When you read this, know not much time has passed that I haven't thought about and prayed for you and your family. Love you lots!!
ReplyDeleteThought of you when I read these words today:
ReplyDelete"however great the anxieties of my heart, your consolations soothe me."
-Ps. 94:19
peace.