21 Weeks, Almost 22

Here is what me + baby boy look like right now . . .

Even though I received my first comment on my size the other day, I'm feeling good these days! I've been able to work out 5 days a week, running three miles some days (much slower than my normal pace). At the same time, the typical pregnancy stuff is there--forgetfulness (so frustrating!), leg cramps a night, heartburn, restless leg syndrome, interrupted sleep, and a little acrobat who travels with me everywhere! Chris has begun the clothes sorting process, but that's really all we've done so far. I should probably photograph that process because it is beastly . . .

That's all for now!

Half Way

I realized yesterday that this pregnancy is half-way done! That's kind of scary because I don't feel "ready" in the least. BUT, we have time to get things done, right? Here is what we need to accomplish, preferably in the next three months because the holiday season is fast approaching:

1. Go through Noah's baby clothes:

• Sort
• Wash
• Fold
• Put away

2. Clear out guest room (I'm dreading this!)

• Pack up bed
• Find a place for the printer, wireless router, and other junk in there
• Figure out what to with everything in the closet in there
• Talk about how our house is already feeling too small for us.

3. Figure out what baby stuff of Noah's we need to replace. We got several big things used with him. Here is what I know we need:

• stroller/carseat combo (is it worth getting one Noah can ride in, too?)
• swaddlers
• pacifiers
• baby bath tub
• bouncy seat
• Boppy for lounging (not a fan of the Boppy for nursing)
• Maybe a new pump? I used my Medela pump full-time for a year, so I need to get it out and test it. I probably need new attachments at least.
  

4. Pick out crib.

5. Pick out bedding/color scheme for nursery.

6. Decorate nursery. Make letters of baby's name to hang on the wall. (The big news is coming soon!)

7. Get Noah books about being a big brother.

8. Pray about this transition.

9. Save more money so our savings isn't depleted when I don't work for four months.

10. Pray.

11. Continue to live life raising a two-and-a-half-year-old who is starting pre-school and speech therapy. Oh yeah, we also work and serve at church.

12. Pray some more because seeing this list is causing me some stress! Yikes!

Sigh . . .

Is

Several things have happened lately that I didn't think ever would:

(1) On our date last night, we went to Pottery Barn to look for bedding, and I was OK and actually enjoyed doing so. On the way home, we stopped at Target, and I was able to look at baby stuff and actually enjoy it.

(2) I got annoyed when the sales associate at Pottery Barn asked me if I was expecting and then looked shocked when I said we already knew the gender and were due in about four months. My theory that I just look chubby was confirmed--if someone didn't know me, he or she would never guess I was pregnant. I guess my annoyance is evidence that I'm ready for people to know.

(3) I was pulling out my Lean Cuisine from the microwave in the teachers' lounge the other day, and I turned around to one of my students standing there. The first thing she said was, "So when are you due?" I paused for a minute and finally said, "In January." She fired back, "I heard it was twins." I said, "Noo . . . where did you hear that?" She said one of last year's kids told her, which I still have no idea how this got out. My theory is that a teacher mom who heard from somebody else told her kid, and it got out that way. Anyway, I was able to say calmly, "We're having a little boy and are excited about a brother for Noah!" She said, "Well, congratulations!" and walked out. It was such a strange situation--kind of like an ambush, actually--but I was glad to know that I could respond OK and be comfortable. A month or two ago, I probably would've had a break down.

******
There are things that still sting a little bit and probably always will, but I am learning how grief and joy can co-exist. It is not confusing anymore; it just is, and it's OK. And I'm OK.

Options . . .

Check out the sidebar for a poll of the names we are thinking about for Baby Boy Straits. Cast your vote for what you think! Here are some requirements:

(1) It needs to sound "right" with Noah. I want to say, "Here are our boys, Noah and _____." "Noah and Tyler" sounds strange.

(2) It needs to have a flowy rhythm among first, middle, and last names.

(3) Chris thought it would be "neat" to have all of our middle initials start with "M." He and Noah are both Michael, and my middle name is my maiden name: McLawhorn.

If you have any other suggestions, comment!

Update on Today

Noah is going to have a brother! Our appointment today went very well: Baby Boy looks "perfect" according to the ultrasound! This little guy is in a very weird position right now. His head is down and curled at a funny angle, so his pictures aren't that good or clear. Usually, I can see ultrasound photos very well, but I was struggling with these since we saw his head from all angles. The ones below are his profile, minus a chin. He does, however, have a chin so that's good news.

The photos . . .

That supposedly is boy parts--I can't see it, but Chris does!

So that's that. Now all we have to do is find a name. It's not as easy second time around . . .

Waiting

Sorry for the lack of updating here! I meant to post a big milestone the other day--Chris was able to feel Baby moving at 17 weeks. It was a moment I smile when I think about. It was a moment I felt like things were almost normal.


I remembered back to Noah's pregnancy--his focused face, waiting for the movement. The question was the same: "Was that you?" Now, how I could make my intenstines kick him in the hand, I don't know, but the question and the "That's so cool!" was familiar and took me back to a time where things seemed so normal and simple. We talked about names, looked at cribs, etc. with ease and without worry.


Right now, I'm waiting for the next "OK." We go back to Duke next Tuesday, and I'm waiting with hope that it will bring us to a place of "normal." Or at least closer. We've definitely made some strides in that direction . . .


The social worker at school stopped me today and said, "The rumor is you're having twins." I teach her daughter this year, who heard from somebody who heard from somebody else that I was having twins. She said that she told her daughter to stop saying that if I hadn't said anything to them. I thanked her before I had to explain that yes, we were at one point but not anymore. She then asked me if I had even mentioned the pregnancy to students, and I explained that I was still waiting for this next ultrasound.


So, for now, I wait. And I'm so grateful for the assuring flutters and pokes that make the waiting less . . . unbearable . . .