Hope That Does Not Disappoint

"we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Romans 5:2-5)

Gabriel Matthew,

Yesterday, we greeted you with tears and smiles.  Our journey to you has been one of trial and hearatache and yet hope at the center of it all.  When I look at you, I see 7 lbs. of hope that does not disappoint.  You are God's gift to us--a picture of truth, strength, and hope.  We love you forever.

37 Week Update

I went to the doctor yesterday--here is where I am at this point:

*1 cm dilated
*60% effaced
*-1 station

That apparently means nothing, but it's more progress than I had with Noah when my labor officially started!  I would LOVE to have Gabe with us for Christmas, so tomorrow, I start walking.  A lot . . . more . . .

Any Day Now . . .

As the days continue to pass, Gabe's birth is getting closer and closer. His due date is 2 1/2 weeks away, so it really is only a matter of time now. I wanted to do a comparison post on this pregnancy vs. Noah's pregnancy while I'm still pregnant, so here goes:

*I am in much better shape with this pregnancy. I don't get winded unless I have to bend over and do something, ie scrub the bathtubs. A lot of the differences this time around are because I continued to exercise 5-6 days a week, so I definitely recommend exercise and pregnancy!

*The swelling has not been nearly as bad. I can still wear my rings and my normal shoes. Conversely, I still get cankles from time to time when I have to sit or stand for long periods of time.

*I have had a ton of contractions this time, and they started months ago. With Noah, I had zero until we showed up at the hospital.

*My skin has been really itchy this time. The veins in my belly are visible, and it looks like I have a bruise around my belly button.

*My joints feel pretty good. Last time, my left hip was incredibly painful toward the end, giving me the pregnancy-waddle. I do NOT waddle around! The only thing that's been frustrating lately is my groin muscle feels like it's going to give out at times. I had to cut out running altogether beginning last week as a result. I figured making it to 36 weeks and still being able to run was pretty good.

*I've been in nesting mode a lot longer this time around.

*The heartburn has been equally bad.

*My iron has been equally low.

*Neither Gabe nor Noah kept me awake at night or woke me up with movement. From what I remember, I think we see Gabe's limbs more than we did Noah's. It's pretty crazy to actually see a foot, leg, elbow, etc. move across my belly.

*I feel like I haven't been as tired this time around, and I think it's because I can't be tired with an almost-three-year-old. It's just not an option among his activities, our activities as a family, and work and home responsibilities. Chris is an amazingly AWESOME helper with all things Noah and domestic, so I think that's why I haven't been too burdened, even having a three-year-old this time around.

I think that's all . . .

Hopefully, Gabe will make his appearance soon. I didn't ever get to the point with Noah where I was ready to be DONE, and I'm not feeling that way this time either. I'm just ready to get the show on the road and really don't want to be in the hospital on/for Christmas!

Fourteen Years Ago Today . . .

. . . Chris received the bone marrow transplant that saved his life. Eleven years post-transplant, we were awaiting Noah's arrival. Fourteen years post-transplant, we await Gabe's arrival! I just wanted to mark this day as a reminder of God's ultimate goodness to Chris, to me, and to our family.

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

~Psalm 103:1-5

Final Stretch

I can't believe my pregnancy is now full term. I was telling Chris that I feel like I've been pregnant FOREVER, and he agreed, pointing out that we've been living this pregnancy for over a year. We started talking about a second try on our cruise last year, met with our amazing doctor at Duke in January, started the actual process after that, and then began the pregnancy.


To say that it feels surreal to be this close to the end of the pregnancy would be an understatement. I can't even imagine what our new life is going to look like, and I am anxious to get to know Gabe and his temprament. I wonder all the time if he's going to be like Noah, look like Noah, act like Noah, etc. and yet I know that he is a unique individual and will come with his own personality. I would be lying if I didn't confess that I hope and pray he has Noah's joy and enthusiasm about life and love of sleep!


At the same time, I find myself going back more frequently to thoughts of Gabe's twin. The loss still feels so close sometimes, and I'm wondering how this birth is going to feel in light of the loss . . .

What I do know is that his life is a precious gift that will bring us much joy. In spite of the questions I have about what he will look like, what his disposition will be, what his challenges will be, I know without a doubt that he will bring us much joy . . .