Movement

Today, I have been feeling signs of life: just a light fluttering, distinct yet gentle, like butterfly wings. I imagine Baby coming out of a nap and stretching and turning the way Noah used to when he was still a baby. I imagine Baby tapping gently as if to say, "I'm still here, Mommy!" The movement is so reassuring and reminds me that yes, I am pregnant. It's crazy, but I've actually had moments of, "Oh, yeah. I'm pregnant." The movement of this little one helps me to move forward--movement in the right direction.
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Before bedtime, we pray every night for "the baby on the way." Noah, every now and then, inquires, "Baby way?" (We're still working on forming complete prepositional phrases.) I tell him, "Yes, buddy. Mommy has a baby right here" and point to my belly. Well, today, at the Y while we were checking in and after he made sure he said a very energetic "HII!" to everyone around, Noah pointed to his belly and said quite loudly, "BABY!" People giggled, and I tried to explain quietly that he does not have a baby in his belly--only mommy does. I thought it was so ironic that God would use a two-year-old to force me to acknowledge the pregnancy in public, to face my fear. Movement in the right direction.
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Later on at home, he pointed to my belly and said, "Baby!" I said, "Yes, buddy. The baby is right there." He thought for a second or two and said, "Share trains!" I said, "You want to share your trains with the baby?" He gave the biggest smile and nodded his head yes. All I could do was smile and praise his enthusiasm about the baby and willingness to share his prized possessions. Again, I thought it was so funny how Noah's innocent enthusiasm moved me yet again in the right direction--toward enthusiasm and joy.

I can honestly say that Noah's excitement for this baby is a divine gift given to him because I can also honestly say that he did not pick up on it from me. Rather, I picked up some enthusiasm from him. What a sweet gift from my firstborn, from God . . .